Nasa bahay ang puso ko (super mushy entry!)

Home feels good, always. And Easter Sunday brings HOPE, always.

Sabi sa text ni Lloyd Luna, author ng “Is there a job waiting for you?” and “Do you have the life of your own?”…EVERYTHING ends up alright. If it’s not yet alright, then it’s not yet the end.”

Maybe that’s why I’m feeling uneasy these days, madami pang hindi “alright.”

But I’m glad that I’m starting to bring back the missing pieces in my self…in my life, the one that was broken and took me months to fix. Good thing, my dreams didn’t fade. Now, I have hopes. And I still have Him to be intrepid.

I missed living my life. Now, I have a clear path to walk on, true people to hold tightly, and a “never-get-tired-of-Cyra” God to be with me all the way. It’s true that you’ll know the true ones during adversaries, not just anniversaries. Hehe. (I’m trying to be humorous, deymn the rhymes. Haha). And when everything’s done and when you’re left with vague choices, you’ll keep your faith and hold Him tight in prayers.

Funny. Totoong nkaka-degrade ang pagiging bum, and then everything follows. Susunud-sunurin ka nang pahirapan ng lahat ng aspeto ng buhay mo. Then, you’ll feel helpless and empty. Parang back to zero kahit alam mo naming hindi. You’ll reach your lowest point. You’ll cry at maaawa ka sa sarili mo. Pipilitin mong isisi sa iba’t ibang bagay o tao sa paligid mo ang mga nangyayari. Dadating ka sa punto na sisihin mo ang kurso mo at ang malawakang palakasan at diskriminasyon na nangyayari sa iyong masusing paghahanap ng trabaho. Dalawang bagay ang pwedeng mangyari: tanggapin mo ang trabahong hindi mo gusto dahil kailangan mo nang may maiabot na pambayad ng kuryente at makalipas ang ilang buwan ay balik sa pagiging unemployed ka uli dahil di mo matagalan ang trabaho o hintayin ang gusto mong trabaho (na di mo alam kung gusto ka rin o kung talagang gusto mo yon) at tumaas ang posisyon makalipas ang ilang buwan pati na rin ang sahod, benefits at tatawagin kang “Ma’m” o “Sir” ng guwardiya na bawat dumadaan ay yon ang tawag nya.

Everything will be alright.

Hay. Buti na lang may pamilyang di nang-iiwan.
Buti na lang may mga tunay na kaibigan.
Buti na lang kahit na madalas problema ang boyfriend, at lagi daw ako nakakasakal kaya wala ako laging surprise, makita lang siya, parang kaya nang labanan ang mga kaaway at sakupin ang buong mundo.

Ang totoo, natatakot ako sa mga susunod na mangyayari…

Takot ako.

Pero kailangan kong harapin. Baka pag nadaanan ko na’to, kunwari na lang di ako duwag, tuluy-tuloy na ang ligaya! Yehey! Hay.

Help me Lord, please.

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