Growing up, my mom always nags about how I should behave properly especially when I get married ’cause she believes that it’s a woman’s achievement to be accepted and liked by the family of the person she’s marrying. At the end of the day, she’s right- you’re an addition to their family so you should give more and love more.
My dad was different. He will always tell me to be true to myself and never settle down unless I’m completely sure and have experienced all the singlehood can offer.
But both of them didn’t tell me how will I know if it’s time or if that person is “the one.” I guess because no one can really explain how and why. 🙂
I asked my closest girlfriends on their bridal showers how did they know that they want to be with the person their marrying for the rest of their lives, but I can’t remember any logical answer. Haha.
2 years ago, I was so sure that I wanted to pursue studying masters, moving ahead in my career, seeing more of the world and experiencing the most out of “singlehood” like what dad said. Back then, I have no vision of wedding and marriage.
Back then, Raymond consistently jokes around marrying me and I’ll quickly say “Of course not!” in an irritated tone. He’s a complete gentleman, very kind and loving- but that was not the only thing I was looking for. I have a complete list of characteristic of a man I want to marry,and most of it was not him.
Days, weeks, months passed by and I felt so guilty knowing that I was not completely into him cause I was searching for my “perfect” man. So I thought of going away. I backpacked Japan for 15 days. First, to realize a goal- to party under a cherry blossom tree; second, to wander and think what’s next for me.
It was the trip that made me realize how good life is and how good and loving is our God knowing and giving exactly what we need in our lives. As soon as I got back in Singapore, Raymond joked again “Pakasal na kaya tayo sa Dec?!” and I replied, “maybe in 2 years time.” He was completely shocked. I was too.
What happened? I didn’t know.
I couldn’t explain.
I thought about what I said, assessed my feelings, write down my future goals… and they all include Raymond.
I once asked a Japanese friend why he married so early at the age of 23. He told me, “timing.” Well I guess it’s true. You know it when it’s the right time or the right person. You just know and you don’t need to explain why. 🙂
To my now husband, Rey Martin (I still don’t get it why your nickname is Raymond), with you I feel secure… I can be myself anytime without worrying that if I don’t achieve much, you’ll love me less. There’s no “grand” day to look forward to because everyday is as special as those grand days. You showed me how partnerships work and how showing affections does not make me less strong or reasonable. You’re my redbull, keeping me focused to finish the things that I’ve started. You’re my Nike pushing me to take risk and just do things because you know that failure shouldn’t stop a person from achieving his/her dreams. With you, I’m supergirl. With you, everything’s secure. :b (This is not going to be my vow on our Church wedding- masyadong obvious na I work in advertising).
Wedding is easy (Just look at how we prepared ours! Haha) but we’re sure that marriage is going to be difficult. But thank God, I’m damn confident about my partner and how lucky we are to have very loving and supportive family and friends. We love you!